i don't know what's wrong... how many times have i said that lately? it seems everything stems from that fundamental statement... none of the decisions i make seem to be the correct ones... why? what am i doing wrong? i don't understand... all i know is that i am feeling a deep pain within and it's something not physical... i wish it would go away, but it won't and i don't know how to make it go away...

...a lot of problems have arisen from me being social, so i guess the only solution is to withdraw and hide, lock myself away and throw away the key... i've been progressively becoming more and more miserable and while i plummet into the dark recesses of self-pity, i sigh.

"what have i done?"

there's only one way out of this darkness but yet, she is the one i have upset...

i don't know how to fix this, but i really wish it to be fixed.... : (

*edit: i guess it was a matter of me being me... so for this to be fixed, i just have to not be me for a while... see how that works out...